Distractions

There are just so many things in life that are competing for our attention these days...and perhaps maybe not just "these days", but that there have always been a myriad of voices crying out but only those with enough time on their hands have been able to hear them.

It is interesting to note that in third world nations where life is the toughest the suicide rates are very low. People struggling just to survive haven't the time to consider whether or not their quality of life is worthy of "continuing the battle". They're happy just to survive and despite their struggles they find moments of great joy, reasons to celebrate, reasons to encourage one another, while those of affluence are willing to surrender themselves to the grave if that GPA fails to get them into the right school, or the perceived "soul mate" just doesn't feel the same way about "Neverending Love".

It's really all a matter of expectations. And the voices that speak expectation to us are relentless in their quest to motivate us towards glut and indulgence (having only the best things all the time).

Art, fashion, sport...entertainment in general, good stuff to be sure, but we have elevated these things to a place that would allow us to exploit people and cultures, nations and children, building up and breaking down all to the sound of the currency flow...no one is safe from the monster this has all become.

It really is a beast.

And the noise has only gotten louder with the growth of our interconnectedness. Our ability to see into the world of everyone, often without enough filters I'm afraid, is actually breaking down the cohesiveness of societies because everything becomes about the individual.

We have developed the craft of playing on expectations and emotion so well that we are able to tap into some of humanity's most basic longings and needs and manipulate the vulnerable indiscriminately, generally with very little consideration of the cost.

In places with a limited dating pool and uncertain resources people tend to get over the whole "soul mate" thing rather quickly. And while its wonderful to have choices the problem here is the notion that amidst all those choices resides lasting solutions for what are ultimately periphery issues actually blocking the path to fulfilling what the really needs are, love, peace, joy, hope...

Those deeper inner needs all stem from a situation that we are unable to purchase, engineer or argue our way past. A condition that we all suffer from universally; that we were created as the objects of God's affection, to love and be loved by and through Him, and to demonstrate this love in our honest and sincere affection for one another.

And then the light...

Suddenly it occurs to me that I do have something to say...in fact I have quite a lot to say. The problem is more that I have been feeling "self-aware" and have been wanting to be very careful about whatever I say. And this is never good.

Each and every morning when I get up I compose an entry for my "prayer journal" (it's called that because it's actually more prayer than journal) and this is the thing that centers me.

I begin using the template that Y'shua left us, often referred to as "the Lord's Prayer" ..."Our Father, who art in heaven..." You know the one...a template because in same discussion He speaks of not doing the "praying just to be heard" thing and He also cautions against doing the "vain repetition" thing, so clearly He wasn't telling us to, "Sing along and say the magic words!".

In fact Y'shua was real down on magic words and kina stressed that we only speak the truth from our hearts. And the Bible in general is not real hip on magic anyway.

The idea here is not that we are to echo verbatim what Y'shua said, but rather that effective prayer looks something like this; begin by recognizing who we are talking to...and this is tough, because our natural inclination is to begin spewing selfish stuff, "I need", "I want", "If You could do something about them...".

But a clearer understanding of what we really ought to be requesting comes out of a clearer understanding of who we are really talking to.

By starting with, "Father God, my Creator, my Father, my Lord..." I establish our relationship, He is my Father, and I can trust Him.

Who He is not, is a cosmic toddler who has created the human race as His divine "play thing". His level of sophistication is so far beyond my own that the more I explore this idea and give Him the praise due as the One who has not only created all things, but demonstrated purity of His love, the more confident I am in bringing my whole heart before Him.

And as I'm bringing my whole heart, things are being revealed, because rather than playing that game where I bring what I have assessed to be the answer to my problem, I am more inclined to bring Him the "root cause" of my anxiety for Him to evaluate my situation and deliver an answer that addresses the "real problem".

Why do godly people have confidence in the midst of overwhelming odds?
Why do godly people seem to have a trust that goes well beyond reason?

When I recognize who God really is I don't hold back. I come to the realization that He is able to see what's really in my heart anyway...and despite this He still loves me! So the "cloaked" requests that are SOP when dealing with one another, indeed even dealing with ourselves, are exposed for what they really are and I become freed up to trust God with my deepest needs.

And because I trust Him, I am not afraid anymore.

Whether or not things turn out the way I would have hope they would, they will turn out in the way that it ultimately best for me, for He loves me and His mercy, grace and loving kindness are ever directed towards me.

Much of the problem is that we live in this fallen world and that in this world we will have tribulation because part of love is giving the beloved space and freedom to do what may not be good for them, and as a whole we haven't done a bang up job here with the earth.

In fact, just the injustice that we subject ourselves to is enough to make one despair...but, when the Kingdom finally reigns in all facets of life, and everyone is willing to surrender themselves to God's will (the rule of love) it will be a different place.

Thus, "...Thy Kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in Heaven..."

And as "someone" once stated so eloquently, "I'm starting with the man in the mirror..." that's a big part of my prayers. "Oh Lord, help me to get over myself, to humble myself, to become that man You desire me to become..." because this the Kingdom come.

When those of us who have received His Spirit choose to yield our lives to His direction the world changes and there are countless testimonies of this.

You see what I'm getting at don't you?

Take this prayer that He left with us and apply that template to your morning prayers.

And if you don't have a "morning prayer", consider making this a part of your life.

The reason that I do a "journal" is because I find it difficult to focus when I'm still groggy first thing in the morning. The exercise of writing it out, whether with a pen or typing, or whatever, causes me to turn all my attention to what I'm doing and I'm able to express myself more fully without loosing my train of thought.

I pray that what I have shared with you has been useful.

Exposed!

The fraud exposed! The impostor has been discovered. Without space to wiggle free and without cover to hide behind, the lie has come to light for all to see. And even if the rest of the world is unable to recognize it. I see it plainly, for the culprit is me.

You see, while engaging in techniques that focus on bringing this sort of thing to light, I found within myself the very thing I had been afraid of. That sham of religious practices meant to disguise an otherwise sinful old beggar had finally given way under the careful scrutiny of a heart in pursuit of truth.

Love is the acid test. It is the thing that strips away every pretence leaving intent standing naked to the world…to myself.

I had caught myself in an exercise meant to extricate the last traces of this person whom I had thought long dead, long gone, forever nailed to a cross of shame, damned and condemned, never to rise again.

Instead, what I found is that with my new pair of speckles all the vibrancy of my surrounding sprung to life with a pallet of colors ranging from deep emotion to symmetrical logic, and there, there hiding in the corner, attempting desperately not to be obvious was the man, me, my carnal nature, my natural condition.

Coy, cute, clever, ouster, religious, pious, the gambit of justifications ran on as that ol’ chameleon struggled to blend into the background, but it was too late. I had heard his voice. I recognized the twisted logic, the rational, the bent reasoning and those inflections of charm meant to make all seem okay.

Well it isn’t okay.
It’s quite “unokay”.
It was in fact a major fail, a blemish, a smear.
It was all that I had been afraid of, for at a critical juncture when complete transparency, clarity, honesty had been the goal. There he was. That man of selfish ambition and vile operation.

Has anyone else noticed?
Does that matter? Really?

For standing up for Love and declaring a life driven by Love means performing for an audience of one. He is the very source, the context, the Father of Creation, and certainly I can not disguise this or hide it or even explain it away.

Somewhere, somehow, in some way, I’d begun to construct a model on which I could build a deception so thin I could hide it in the light of day.

But God is faithful, for the story is not about how we have been blessed with all that we want, but that we are being blessed to become all that we ought to be.

Had I not taken such measures and made those observations I would still be blind to the operation of that ol’ beggar in my life and would have continued on hoping for a deeper understanding only to fall flat again and again.

There is another man. And he is just as recognizable, but less incline to intrude. He waits for the invitation. He stands at the door and knocks rather than bursting through the door or sneaking in a side window.

And though I have declared Him to be King over my world and my life, He will not fight me for the throne because He doesn’t need to.

To the contrary, I am the one who needs this relationship. It benefits me to let Him rule.

The sooner I relinquish control, the sooner the process begins of becoming who I was always meant to be. And isn’t that really one of the very few ambitions worthy of the doing?

In Christ I have love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. They spring from inside me.

But apart from Christ I must rely on exterior forces to line up for me to experience any sort of happiness, and that happiness is only a temporary condition, it's all a matter of waiting for the fail that is coming…not much of a choice really.

I'll surrender the rebel, take up my cross, and wait for what comes next thank you very much. ;)

Handy Andy

Because we are linear beings it's often hard to piece together what God is doing. We become frustrated with answers to prayer or moves of the Spirit that don't happen like an instant microwave meal.

It's only natural really. We live in a time when everything happens NOW! And if it doesn't there's cause for concern. "It must be broken", "You've got a bad connection", "...it's just a little buggy" (Hum, remember the days when buggy was noun? No? Never mind).

Point being, people pray for something God fully intends to do and the wheels start turning. But when the process takes longer than expected they become discouraged and assume the answer to there prayer was "no".

Andy had been coming to the church for years. He received Jesus in this church. He'd first experienced the Holy Ghost while attending this church.

But Andy had heard from God, or at least he thought he had at first, and he had tried to share what he'd heard with others at the church and they didn't get it.

Admittedly, he is not the most articulate, most "polished" presenter. He felt that he hadn't been able to share it the way God had delivered it and that maybe that's why nobody else could see it.

Later he determined was that perhaps he hadn't heard from God at, in fact, maybe he was even at the wrong church...he prayed about joining a different church and subsequently left.

For me, it was just another day following up on what I am quite certain God had told me to do.

For close to a year the Lord had been speaking to me about what had been happening at the church so when someone called about stepping in as worship leader I knew what I was supposed to do.

This is no small thing. I live in San Diego and the church is in L.A.
I'd never been a regular...it was simply the place I go when I was hanging with the band. Committing to worship leader would mean long drives every Sunday at the very least...but what could I do? You go where God calls you.

Once in place it didn't take long before the entire vision began to piece together. God was speaking to my heart and the whole picture was considerably larger than simply filling in until a new worship leader could be found.

I drafted a proposal and submitted it to the board, who joyfully received it, discussed it and eventually approved it (nothing happens quickly in any church). ;)

And this is worlds collided, because now Andy was peering into my window amazed at what he was seeing. THE CHURCH WAS OPEN!!!
"Hey! Are you open!", "Yes we are. Come on in."
"This was my vision! This is what God shared with me! Or at least a part of it..."

See, for some time the church had only been open when Sunday services were conducted or for the mid-week Bible study.
Most of the time the building sat closed up and empty. And for a community church like ours that's just wrong.

Andy came in and had a cup of coffee and we discussed what had happened, his vision for the church, how while he'd been praying about this "burden" that God had laid on his heart, and how I'd been in San Diego receiving that burden from the Lord.

While Andy was shocked and amazed I joyfully took it all in. I'd seen this before. This is exactly the way God works.

Andy had been praying for the church. God placed a burden on his heart and given him a vision for what He wanted to do, and Andy began praying about that.
I had already been concerned about what had been going on at the church and God began to place this burden on my heart.

I had come to one of those junctures in my life where I was available for this sort of thing and the call came...I just answered the call.

The unfortunate part was that Andy had become discouraged and misinterpreted the long pause between the time he'd begun sharing his vision and the time it took for God's plan to begin unfolding.

In fact, we're not finished. We're only just beginning.
And my prayer is that Handy Andy might come back to join us as we live out the vision that he first prayed for.

Crash Adam

So...the problems connected with a busy person attempting to create and maintain a blog should be obvious. Who has time for this? But then, that is what my new job is all about...people are supporting me in order to see to it that I'm able to do just these sorts of things. It's all about communicating.

...and I love to gab, no doubt about it. Still it just feels strange allowing this to become the priority while letting the "less weighty" things fall off. And by less weighty I'm referring those things I used to call work.

Certainly I'll be able to cope as I adjust to the change. Communication has always been one of my great loves. My father often had great fun at my expense over this very thing...I can talk to anyone, and have spent my life talking to just about anyone, whether or not that seems wise.

Crash Adam was so typical of the type...the people other folk wish were invisible.
Generally Crash would loose 'em during the discussion of what his third album would look like...something to do with flaming unicorns I think.

He really didn't smell all that bad for a vagrant so far as barriers go. But when he'd launch into his rants about world conquest and how music could save the planet most people would become uneasy. And when he began to explain his life plan (little off schedule, but a plan none the less) as a modern day messiah that's when nearly everyone walked.

Me, I love a good story. I could sit and listen through a cup of coffee. It didn't hurt me, it may have even enriched me in some bizare way.
Anyway, he was no threat. He wasn't violent...and he was so very close to coherent.

The only painful part of the entire experience was recognizing that I wasn't going to be able to shuffle him back on deck to see the light of day. After a couple cups of joe I was gonna have to cut him loose like a fisherman letting go of his fav bass in some twisted catch in release program.

He was happy to let you pray for him, he was just never that clear on whether you were praying for him or to him...meds might have been the answer?

I'd run into Crash in the weirdest places...usually Hollywood, late at night after a gig or over by the Oasis down off Cherokee, but I found him wandering the streets of Hermosa one night and I brought him to Sunday evening service.

I hadn't given it a second thought really...my feeling was that maybe he'd latch hold of something useful and some light might trickle in.
Instead it was as though I had brought some exotic creature on "bring your pet to church night".

It's always so weird to see when people get clingy with the homeless guy. "Look at me, I'm helping the less fortunate..."

Don't get me wrong, clearly I'm into that sorta thing when it's legit, but there's this odd fascination some folk have with the down and dirty that they just can't hide with flowery language and soft speak...still all in all, we made it most of the way through the service before someone suggested I keep my monkey on a leash.

Crash wasn't really even aware that we were being escorted out, he was still discussing how he's like to throw a concert there, and wouldn't it be great to take pictures for the inner sleeve of "Crash Adam: Planet Free"

I suppose he was causing a disturbance, though it was less to do with him and more to do with everyone else's inability to cope with him.

We hit the local Denny's and I bought him breakfast.
As far as Crash was concerned all was right with the world. Not being one to let life pass him by, he thanked me for my tribute and head out into the night headed for...who knows?

I wouldn't see him again for ages. The street would take his soul. I cried out Crash Adam! But he looked at me with bedazzled empty look that says, "that name doesn't live here anymore".

And now it's been years since the last time...

Entertaining friends...

...some times it is a matter of making small talk. We don't want to make anyone uncomfortable...but other times those people who show up unannounced are the ones who do the entertaining.